Ah The Smell of Napalm In The Morning

Now it is my day off, 3 great fucking days in a row, or so I think.

With me only getting to see my boys every other weekend, if I am lucky, for the last two years I decided when they moved in for good that I don't mind them sleeping in my bed if they want. It seems to ease their little minds and let them realize daddy is there to protect them even in their dreams. Tonight on the other hand is a different story. I am snoozing along and I awake to hear BAD3 crying! I am half asleep but any noise that has to do with my kids and crying perks me up to Defcon 3.
Alert, Alert, something is happening to a child Alert, Alert we are now Defcon 3!

The first thing I do is start asking what is going on "buddy you ok?", no response just crying Hmmm.... "Buddy?", more crying. Then I hear it a noise that sounds like the flood gates have been opened so that the entire Atlantic ocean can be drained of all things aquatic! The fog horn sounds and
Blllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!! Bleeeeeeeeeh! Ble-Hooooyah! Burble burble.

OMG running to the bathroom turning on the lights back to pick up the boy who is now crying so hard he cannot breathe at all and plop him in front of the toilet, "Please son of my loins do not miss the target! May your aim be straight and you never miss". Now it is back to the room ripping sheets off the bed setting up BAD2 in the front room on the couch Blllleeeeeeeh "oh great here come the dry heaves".

Sheets on bed ~ back to little boy. By now he standing up and he crying not because he is sick but because he has puked all over his night clothes. So I take off the clothes wash him up and he is crying so hard he is hyperventilating! I have to tell him to stop that nonsense; I know he is sick but he is just making it that much worse. He needs to pee but stands there crying instead; I tell him to sit on the white porcelain god of sickness and if he needs to puke to get up but for the love of Jesus "Do not puke on yourself again lil bro".

Crying hysterically..Will not stop

I run get him some crackers he nibbles and forgets that he's been crying. Goooooood now my angel go lay back in bed and take this wet cloth and put it on your forehead you are ok everything is ok.

Now I cannot sleep I hate vomit the sight of it makes me want to empty my innards as well. But I spose you got to do what you got to do.


All in all I suppose it is not nearly as bad as last week when BAD2 decides he is going to be sick on the way home from the movies. He waits till I pull over he opens the door steps outside and projectile vomits back into my car! Smooth move Slick Rick! It was fucking lasagna noodles some of them were even whole! That was really nasty but that's a story for another time.