The Black Death

A lot of ideas floating around the grey matter in 'ole Seeker's cranium today, but the words are not really there to give you something to really sink your teeth into. I am thinking it is about time I tell you the story of my cat. So here goes.....


Last August my children were walking into my mother's house when I see a black furry little object tagging along. What is that behind you...Guys? Dad! Dad! We have a new friend! Can we keep it?, they scream in excitement. I get up from my position on the couch and meander over to take a gander at this midnight black furball. I don't know... Guys, he looks like a feral cat and it is gonna cost me some cash to have the vet do all the tests to make sure he is healthy. Keep him outside for now and we will see". Secretly I am hoping the little bugger will just scamper off into the woods never to be seen again.

Blast it all to the eternal fires of hell! This little guy follows me around every time I go outside. He talks to me and rubs against me wanting a loving hand to caress him. 'Shit' no he is following me into the house. "Fine, Fine!", laughing my mom makes him a little place to sleep in and before too long he acts like he is owning the place. This little bit of paradise lasts for a couple weeks until one day he is trying to get into his little bed and he just cannot do it. I wonder what's wrong with him and I see him shaking and quivering. So I pick him up gently and place the sick little guy into his bed and he just starts crying like he is gonna die. "Awww Fuck", I mutter under my breath as I go get ready to take him to the vet to see what in God's name is wrong with him.

So we take him to the vet and have all kinds of tests run on him. Seems he is a carrier of some cat disease and if I had not brought him into the doc he would have died because he was running a fever so high that if it didn't kill him he would have severe brain damage! Well lucky for that little bastard I have a soft heart and had taken BAD1 with me because I tel lthe doc, "Do what you got to do", knowing the whole time this is going to cost me some cash. Too make a long story short I had to leave him there for a couple days and it cost me close to 400 dollars to make him well again!

Now I can't get rid of him I have to keep him because he cost me that much money. I am not about to let him go into the wild after saving his life knowing he will die again if left alone. So since we are keeping him we need a name. I have no idea when this happened but I came home one day to find out my mother and eldest son had decided his name should forever more be 'BROWNIE'! Stupid fucking name that is a god damn black cat with the name Brownie Bah! My pets always have had kick ass names but oh no I got to have a cat that is not brown named after a dessert. *Shaking my head*


A couple weeks after this episode I had moved out of my mothers deciding that close to two years of living off my parents was quite enough after my divorce from my ex-wife. I was ready to get out on my own and take care of myself. I left the cat there hoping that my mom would keep it so I would not have to mess with it , and I could just see him when I came for a visit, which is quite often. This worked for about a week and a half until my dad blew his stack. I went over one day and my dad had this pissed off look in his eye and told me, 'I want that cat to leave with you when you go today. Do you understand?' Damn, he caught on to my diabolical plan I am going to have to take him home now. It seems the little bugger had taken a liking to making the fireplace his dumping ground if you catch my drift.

So I cart him off to the house and make him at home feeding him till he is nice and fat. Now my house is the house that smells like cat piss. I need to get him fixed but damn there's even more money on a cat that I never wanted in the first place. It is a constant battle to find the latest place he has taken a leak. Usually I do not have to go very far because the kids seem to like to leave the clothes on the floor and voila of course their clothing makes for a very nice toilet.

Another interesting thing about this huge black ball of fuzz is that he goes into what my children fearfully claim is 'ATTACK MODE'. Out of no where there will be the inevitable shout "Dad, Brownie's in attack mode again!", and of course my reply is "Well pet him and show him some love and he will leave you alone" but of course my advice is never heeded and they start jumping around acting all afraid and being the animal he is....Well he attacks biting just enough to scare them or maybe scratching them a little. This starts the screaming and crying and makes it so that I have to get up go beat on the cat tell him 'NO! No!' and explain for the thousandth time that they caused the whole issue by acting afraid. To be honest though if you never have seen it before it is rather frightening. He will be laying there like a cat usually does and then he will just roll over on his back let his tongue hang out of his mouth and not move any part of his body except the tail. The tail twitches nervously back and forth anticipating the strike that the body it is attached to is about to make. If this little black bastard deems the time is right he can jump from the position I have previously described all the way to my head and I am 6 feet 3 inches tall. Of course he doesn't do this to me anymore he knows better.


So I have a cat. He can be ok except for the pissing on everything I own, and tearing holes in my children's skin. By the way did I tell you I have always hated cats?

Shaking my head once again.....The things I do just because I feel they are right.