A Collage of Misconception

The United States' over-abundance of fatties is starting to vastly affect my life and therefore I am now officially pissed. Fatty, Fat Ass, Lard Ass, The Buffet Master, Jelly Belly, and so many other names are used to describe these behemoths and freaks of nature. Oh, excuse me for not being Politically Correct and hurting your extra sensitive feelings by saying you are 'Weight Challenged'. Hmm.... Fuck You!

Now can someone else's problems with their food intake bother me? Well let's run the gamut and I'll show you the irritation I am now living with on a daily basis.


1. I used to be able to go into a supermarket and have a nice little dividing back board usually with advertisements posted on it separating me from the cashier behind me. Remember the Three Foot Rule people? Now all that is gone and my space is invaded yet again due to the fact you can't stop with one bag of Lay's you got to eat a whole fucking case!

2. I admit it I have an addiction to McDonald's French fries. Mm Salt.. Wait, what's that? The fat people complained and said you were to unhealthy? And now they have decided to let me salt my own? God damn it this is just not the fucking same, and it really pisses me off. I also got told rudely a few weeks ago that they no longer use the term Super Size due to customer requests for a healthier McDonald's. Now I am being chastised by a fucking acne faced 12 year old drive thru manager. I just cannot believe this shit.

3. This fad has started to be replaced and I am glad in one way and horrified in another. The one I speak of is where women decide they are hot and sexy and put on some skin tight ropers. Now I am all for a woman wanting to look and feel sexy that rocks and what guy doesn't like looking at a small-waisted lady with a nice shapely ass? I think personally there should be a law that limits these articles of clothing to no more than a size 8 hun if you are bigger than that you do not need to be trying to squeeze into anything that resembles tight clothing. I mean do you really think we like to look at your saddle bags or your stomach sticking out in front further than your flat flabby ass does in back? Come on now, you know that when you bend over those rolls of flesh you call a stomach turn into gremlins and multiply just by the thought of food alone!. Please do us a favor and stay away from this.

The newest fad is the half shirts and low rise jeans. I thought that the ropers were bad but now I am mortified at what is going on here. Shit this is even worse than a fatty in spandex biker shorts! Now I get to see more of the cottage cheese than I could have ever hoped for..... Woo-fucking-hoo!

4. If you think you can down a box of ho-ho's as a snack you are sadly mistaken. All things in proportion can be delighted in but too much of anything is not usually for the best; especially if you start denying the truth about you being a big fucking pig and blaming it on some health condition and causing my health insurance premiums to rise because of it you twit. Look you do not have to count calories, carbs or any of that bullshit. Just use small plates and eat smaller portions drink lots of water and you will feel full. But seeing a woman who extends he arm to point or grab something and seeing that extra flesh jiggle in the breeze just turns my stomach.

5. Some women are thick and it is in their genetic make-up to be big. Hey that's all cool because there are some beautiful big women that don't have so many chins that Porky the pig would be envious. Know who and what you are and realize obesity is not a fucking option. I think we need to institute the school yard bully syndrome for the work place to help correct this shit. Fuck man there is one woman that I work with that has to wear moo-moo's because she is so fat and then if you ever have to get on an elevator with her hold your fucking breath because her stomach is so big she cannot reach down to wash the crotch. A tune boat would smell better than her. The only thing I can like it too is if you left a dead fish and squirrel in your hot enclosed car for a couple of days. My face going bright red? Yeah that's me holding my breath because as my luck would have it she always seems to be getting on the elevator at the same time as I do. There is also a lady at my place of employ that has an ass so big that when she walks the butt cheeks move up as if they have a life of their own and hit her in the lower back. Yes, I look! I cannot help it my mind and body become transfixed on this abomination to all asses everywhere.


Now I understand that getting a little chunk happens with age, hey man that's all cool. It is life and as such I accept it. The things I am pointing out are issues that affect me personally.

I think one more thing should be added and this will be all on this subject for today.
When we as men take you out on a date and spend our hard earned cash on you and you buy some expensive dish and then eat just al ittle of it acting like you're not a pig and on a diet or some shit Fuck You! Guys Run! I mean it pay the bill and tell the bitch to find her own way home. You want a woman that doesn't always order chicken parmesan or chicken fettucini and take two fucking bites you want a woman that can eat a bowl of spaghetti and give you a Mmm that was damn good expression leaving you thinking to yourself Holy Shit! Now why would you want a gal like this? Because if she eats like that and doesn't run to the bathroom to puke it(Bulemia) she has a high metabolism and is actually active and burns that shit off, as well as most likely loves to give you that good ole booty call when you need it because she loves to move and grind and burn off them calories W00T!!!