Questions I need answered....

1. Why does it always rain on the day after I wash my car?

2. What causes women to be more attracted to you when you are with someone or married than when you are single?

3. How does a person who has no arms wipe their ass after a shit?

4. What make a child run at you full steam to give you a hug always making sure their head is tilted forward at crotch level?

5. When a dog farts rather noisily why is that they always look towards their ass if surprised?

6. If every religion in the world believes that their way is the only way to heaven.. and all other shall die... then we would all die if God really is religious?

7. What causes me to smile every time I utter the word monkey?

8. If we went back to to bible days and stoned/killed adulterers. Don't you think that people would not be as apt to do it?

9. When I was but a spirit and about to enter the world as we know it... why wasn't I allowed to have super powers?

10. What the fuck is up with the hat Tsarina makes her poor dog where?