Pay Attention Next Time!

Yesterday I was in my car on my way home from work thinking about nothing in particular when I see a big white ford cargo type van pull upon the red light pretty fast and stop.

No biggy routine stuff.

Now this is where it gets hairy... You see I have been in a few car wrecks in my life. One of them was so bad that I almost died. If my friend had not turned me over so the blood could spill from my mouth so that I could breath I would have been a goner. In all of my life I have never actually seen a wreck I have been in them, I have accidentally caused them, but never have I been witness to one up close.


I got one hell of an experience yesterday though! Like I said, so I am sitting at the light and I am behind a truck that has pulled out a little too far into traffic as peeps are apt to do and this leftthe front of my car aligned with the back rear tire of the van (It really is kind of interesting that I remember all these little details, and at the time I was paying that much attention to what was around me) So I don't know why but for some reason I glance to my right just waiting on that god damned red light to turn so I can get home when out of no where I see this dark object race past the passenger side of my car and in that instant I somehow focused upon the driver and remember thinking to myself, 'Whoa the light has turned green'. So I start to take my foot off the brake and I am still transfixed on this girl's stare; when all of a sudden the loudest sound I ever heard filled the air and the car she was in lifted up off the back two wheels and came down hard then she started rolling backwards.

Glancing to see what she had hit I see that it was the van, and it had been pushed out in the intersection. I do not really understand all of this or how the body works sometimes; to my amazement it was like the world was slow enough through all of this that if I had seen an insect flying I could have grasped it midair.


Once the fog in my mind lifted I asked the girl if she was alright, yet she seemed suspended with a look of disbelief upon her. I then realized she was in shock and she couldn't hear me. At this point I am thinkingto myself 'Damn I have to get involved in this shit and I just want to go home'. I jump out of my car and start walking towards the van and the passenger side door opens and a scruffy looking guy that was so thin a strong wind could have blown him away steps out and with a bewildered look upon his face says, 'What happened?' I explained he had just been in a wreck and asked if he was alright and he said he was fine just a little stunned. I then asked the girl who had gotten out of her car as soon as I did if she was hurt and she said she was ok, but I could see she was shaken up. During this short conversation that was happening on one of the busiest intersections in my town the drive of the van got out and was grabbing his neck, and I asked, 'Man you too ka hard hit are you alright?' and of course with him grabbing his neck he replies making sure he moans during the whole thing ' My back, my neck ouch...*mumbles in coherently*'.

Man I am no wanting to get involved in this little wreck noi way no how so I try to wrap it up and say 'do you guys need me to stick around or call the medics for you?' the old, fat, hurt, bastard waves me on and says he is fine and then drilling the girl about her insurance coverage.....Yeah he is gonna try to make a buck off her that's the way of the world.


So I guess to sum it all up this girl learned a new lesson...Pay attention to the road not some souped up car! I think it will be definitely cheaper for you in the long run =)

Personal Update

Well yes it has been a bit of time since my last entry into this blog, but life has a way of interfering with things you want to do and leave you feeling unable. Actually I have been busy with battling my ex-wife in court this last week and there was a reset on mafia and I have gotten like zero sleepy creating my normal every day fear, pandemonium, and chaos in that realm of existence.

Speaking of the court issue I think I have finally gotten someone that is involved in the judicial system to actually take a fucking stance as to what is right and what is wrong. The funny thing about this whole episode is that I didn't do or say anything. I sat out in the waiting area while the lawyers battled inside the judges chambers, and then they called my mom in to answer some questions about how the visitations that was asked to observe 'tween my children and ex went. Well it seems like my mom went in there and accomplished her mission!

So I am sitting there in the uncomfortable seat my ass is going numb and I am fidgeting all about trying to stay comfortable when I see my ex walk out of the hallway and she has tears in her eyes. I think to myself, "What does that mean?" and then I hear this loud out burst of blubbering right after she turns the corner and SLAMS the dooropen as she exits. Hmmm..... Very interesting indeed. Well then here comes my mom and she has a grin on her face as she begins to tell me that we won and my boys are set to be with me indefinitely under this emergency order and that of all things my ex-wife has to attend 'Compassion Training'. This is the funniest thing I can think of to send her to she wont learn a thing from the classes, but then again who gives a damn? I just want my kids not to be hurt by her anymore.


Maybe some day she will realize I am not the ass she thinks me to be, but instead I am the man that will do everything in his power to make sure his children are as safe as one can possibly be in this world of uncertainty.

You Been Talking About Me?

Well when I started out writing this blog I told myself I was going to keep it light and just talk about the crazy things that happen in my life or post cool links or new reports that would be interesting in my mind's eye. Well... (Deep Sigh) I am gonna throw in pieces of my life as well. I have so much crazy shit happen a few of my friends have stated individually that I should be on the Jerry Springer show....perhaps I should.


Background:

1. Split up from my cheating Ex-Wife 2.5 years ago.

2. Due to her constant abuse to my 3 kids I have taken her to court repeatedly and am close to winning full custody.

3. During this time she has made false insurance claims and then forged my name to the checks. She has gotten credit cards in my name, as well as getting utilities in my name and running up huge debts thereby causing me issues with my accounts.


Thats just a tip of the iceberg but it is enough to show you a little bit of the hell I go through. Now on with the show and reason for this post.


So yesterday I got off my long ass 10 hour shift, drove my 30 minute commute to the house and was feeling rather tired but not in too bad of a mood. After freshening up a bit I got on to post to my blog when I hear a loud 'Twang' on my front door. for a second I almost ignored it but saw my cat going crazy so I went to check it out. Sure enough there is some teenage punk on my porch with a cocky look on his face so I open the door just a bit so that my dumb ass cat wont run off and ask him, "Yeah?" He says to me " I hear you been talking shit about me!". Hmmm... this is a very fucked up situation and I cannot recall how many times weird shit like this happens to me for no damn reason.

Below is the rest of the encounter play-by-play so to speak...


Dude is talking smack to me so I go outside and shut the door behind me. I am home alone and it kind of weirds me out that this bizarre incident is happening to me.

The thug steps back in to the corner of my porch so that he has good footing against the railing that surrounds the 6X6 ft space. I look to my left and see 10-15 teenage kids all around my house, my car, my yard... "What the hell is going on?" I ask myself.

Now by this time I am confused as a preacher in hell wondering to himself how he had come to such a place.

Me: Who are you?

Thug: The guy you been talking shit on. People been talking and you don't know who you're messing with!

Me: Man... I haven't said anything about you...who are you?

Thug: I am here to settle this problem and you won't be saying anything else when I am done.

~~ I look from his face to his hands and feet. I have already determined he is stoned probably on weed by the yellow color of his eyes and by how slow his responsoes are.~~

Me: Dude, if you wont tell me who you are then tell me who I am so I can understand why you are here on my porch with all these people.

Thug: You are the guy that drives that car.

~~ Now my car is pretty cool my three boys loved The Fast and the Furious so I took it and had it painted all radical with orange scallops and silver outlines. It is a Black PT cruise so it stands out with that paint. Perhaps someday I will link a picture here for you guys to see it~~

Me: Well yeah that's my car and I use it to go to work and come home.. That's all I do go to work come home and repeat the cycle I don't have any idea what you're talking about man. Shit I don't even mow my lawn I pay someone to do it for me. So how can I know who you are to say something about you.

Thug: That's what I am here to fix.

Me: Fix? (Fucking hell this bastard is confusing me)

Thug: Yeah I am gonna take care of this problem and you won't be talking shit anymore. I am well known around here and you will not get away with it.

Me: Um... what? I don't know you and apparantly you don't know me so let's just leave it at that. I am going back to what I was doing before and what I always do I am jjust home from work now I am going back in my house. You all need to go now.

~ I open up the door and step back inside ~

Thug: Yeah you pussy go back into your house, and stay there if I run into you again I'll finish this.


I hear all of that and watch him take off down my steps and think "Damn that little shit I ought to go out there and take him down all the way down!". But better judgement got a hold of me and I started shaking wiht fury at the insolence and I was transfixed in my location looking out the window watching the cod nibbler walk off laughing with his buddies.

I pick up the phone call the cops and let them know whats up and they dispatch an officer over because they are hanging around the end of my street corner. He comes up asks me what is going on I tell him and by now I am fucking livid! I want that fucker's stoned eyes on a necklace. The cop comes back and reports that they all dispersed as soon as he went around the corner and went into different houses. He also told me not to get into it with them and call them back out if anymore problems arise.


Man that is some crazy shit I still have no concept of what reality that ass is living in but if I see him and he fucks with me again I am already mad enough to make him hurt. I just hope it never happens... for his sake.


31 years old and still dealing with highschool assholes... aint life grand?

The reason I mentioned all that about my ex is that I think her family has something to do with this it is the only answer I have for something that insane.

A Hand Extended in Greeting

In the Middle Ages it became common practice for to Knights that came upon one another outside an act of war to raise their right hand as they rode towards another unknown Knight in a symbolic act showing they were unarmed and had no intentions of fighting with the other man.

Over time and as mankind has evolved into gentry and then done away with aristocracy for the most part the handshake still exists. What intrigues me is why it still is around. I want to dissect it below and to those of you who read my thoughts I shall bring the curse of too much information upon you as my over-active mind has done to me.

How many times have you been in the john and seen a person finish their business (Flush) and then hear the Screeching of the door and then the slam as they leave? Nothing to out of the ordinary eh? But wait! I did not here the sound of the faucet coming to life as they rinsed their particles of poo or the touching of their genitalia off their hands.... Eeeew!

So now with that thought on your mind you finish your business, wash your hands and saunter off to go back to whatever you were doing before this necessary part of life came into play. As you walk down the hallway a figure approaches, "Ah, Jones old chap long time no see.", He says to you and reaches out to shake your hand, but you cannot help to think to yourself, "Damn I wonder if he washed his hands after taking the piss, or maybe even worse just before heading this way he had one of those crusty whistling boogers up his nose and did himself a lobotomy before scraping it out and flicking it aside into the trash receptacle......


Ok I have to interrupt here I am actually writing this in the middle of the post because I lost my flow due to the fact that some bastard kid came to my house wanting to fight please see related Link to find out more about this situation.


......" But you have to do it, you grasp their hand and give it the good old double pump.

Grin and bear it... for such a modern society, tradition still dies slowly.

Maybe this fella and me have something in Common

Man With Shy Bladder Syndrome Files Suit

1 hour, 38 minutes ago Add U.S. National - AP to My Yahoo!


By MARK NIESSE, Associated Press Writer

ATLANTA - A man who says he was fired by Caterpillar Inc. because he wasn't able to urinate for a drug test sued the equipment giant Wednesday, alleging discrimination.


AP Photo


Related Links
• International Paruresis Association



The plaintiff says he suffers from paruresis, more commonly known as shy bladder syndrome, and was physically unable to urinate into a specimen cup, despite having drunk 40 ounces of water and being given three hours to complete the task.


Tom Smith, a 55-year-old assembly line worker, was suspended by Caterpillar a day after the aborted test in November, and dismissed on Dec. 5.


"This is supposed to be a country where losing a job for a disorder like that shouldn't be a problem," said Smith, who worked at the company's Griffin plant more than three years. "It's just a matter of simple justice."


Smith contends Caterpillar violated the Americans with Disabilities Act and that companies should offer alternate drug testing methods such as hair or blood tests. He wants his job back and unspecified monetary damages.


Smith's lawsuit claims he ultimately was able to provide a urine sample during an exam by a doctor appointed by Caterpillar, but the company refused to test the sample because he failed to produce it within the allotted three-hour period.


Smith passed an independent hair drug test he paid for himself before he was fired, but Caterpillar required him to pass the urine test. Hair tests are generally considered to be more accurate than urine tests and detect drug use over a few months rather than a few weeks.


Peoria, Ill.-based Caterpillar says its drug tests are in place to protect employees' safety.


"We believe that our drug testing policy does not violate the Americans with Disabilities Act, and we intend to defend against the allegations," said spokeswoman Linda Fairbanks, who declined further comment.


Employers conduct about 45 million drug tests each year, and a vast majority use urine samples.


Paruresis is recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a social phobia, but no government agency has classified it as a disability, said Steven Soifer, president of the International Paruresis Association.


As much as 7 percent of the general population has said in surveys they have trouble using the bathroom away from home, said Soifer, an associate professor of social work at the University of Maryland in Baltimore.

An Ode to the World of the Urinal

Well I made a post about defecation the other day and all I can keep thinking about is the thoughts I have on taking a piss so without much further ado I will finish the bathroom stories up here and my mind will be able to move on towards other useless things.

Now to start out I want to remind all of you reading this bit of nonsense that it is all from a guy's perspective. Women you are on your own and can be left to imagine what I am about to write. To all of you guys out there I think all of you can relate and will hopefully find this amusing. I know I don't ;)

The urinal itself is a pretty standard thing they prob exist in 95% of all locations in the US and come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some of them are a bit shorter on the wall than others (Hey the kiddies gotta pee too). I personally prefer the ones that do not extend all the way to the floor and have a cup that sticks out like at the bottom to catch any loose ends; also I don't have to stand so close to it I lose that feeling of humping the porcelain as I let fly the rains of spring.

In the use of the men's room there is an unwritten code of conduct that it seems only half of the men of this world know about so maybe if I write it out in the here and now some of you will read it and go, " Ahh geez I will be more careful next time".

The rules are as follows:

1. When coming upon the row of urinals you will automatically take the farthest empty one away from any other men that are present.

2. If you have to go and take your leak next to someone you will choose the side that has less members in use.

3. If you are in a busy restroom you will wait at least 3-4 feet back from those who are in the act of relieving themselves.

4. Unless you were talking to the fella as you walked in and are carrying forward a convo from before the point of entry, you will not carry on a conversation with other users.

5. Never look towards another man during the act of pissing.



Those are the basics if everyone could just follow those the world would be a better place.

Now for the real reasons for this posting.....


I am the type of guy that is private. When I go to do my business I do not want to be talked to, looked at, or in general, any act that will cause my focus on relaxing to be lost. To put it bluntly I have perfomance anxiety syndrome. "What is that?", you ask... It is simple. You mess with me at any time before I start the river a-flowing and I cannot go. I could have downed a 2 liter of pepsi and have to piss like russian race horse. Here in lies my contempt for all men who have to bother me while taking care of my business.



One day (I have no idea why in God's name I let my wife at the time talk me into going here) I was at the local AAA baseball park watching the game and decided I needed to take a leak. I make my way down the bleachers and walk what felt to me as if it was a quarter mile away to the restrooms. Once I arrive I am disheartened to find the line extends to the outside. Reluctantly I step in the rear of the line just hoping I get in there fast so that I can let this fluid fly. "Damn I need to go really bad", I mutter under my breath and can feel my internals getting heavier,and heavier, as the moments pass.

Yay! I made it inside the door but now I'm at such a position that I have to stand there and prop open the 40 pound metal giant of a door and it is causing my further discomfort because I am constantly shifting around trying to hold it open and at the same time trying to hold my pee. The line moves after a few moments and now I am just a few guys back from ....

"Ohhh No!!!!! It's a trough!", the one bathroom item I hate more than anything in the world. You see for those of you that are uninitiated here a trough is a long metal box that has water in it and guys just line up and pee right into it. There are no walls distancing you and people are crammed so tight that you always end up getting hit with an elbow or something. Now I am gonna say for the record "Yes I could use a stall" , but in the men's room with hundreds of guys I do not advise it in situations like this they usually do not have doors and they don't obey the three feet rule that means they are almost so close you can feel them bumping your ass as you pee. Then you got to zip up turn around and fight your way past them as they come forward and you try to leave.

Back to the story.....

So by now I am about to die my innards are on fire and I feel like I am going to burst. Finally... The time has arrived I step up to the empty spot that is awaiting me and unzip, whip it out and stare at the perverted messages that are eye level on the wall in front of me. Just as I am going to open the flood gates and get some relief a movement catches the corner of my eye. "What the hell?" I take a look out o the corner of my eye and I cannot believe what I see. A little 5 foot 6 inch fella trying to real in his dick like it is a damn Fishing Reel. I swear to god that guys shlong was so long I do not know how he even pulls out to piss with it without it accidentally flopping down into the trough! Now of course rules are that I cannot look at this display. I mean shit I am not infatuated by this guys penis it is the size and the way he is flopping it about. At this very moment I seize up a picture of a King Cobra floats about in my head and I am afraid it is gonna come over and accidentally touch me or something. "I cannot go piss Daaaaaamn", I scream inside my pounding skull. So what do I do? Stand there some more while this guy makes a show of rolling in his fire hose, or do I just leave? I choose the latter its all seized up gonna be a while before anything leaves that orifice of mine.


Another day another dollar......

So this time I am at the fair and you guessed it... I have to take a leak. Again I have to wait in a line but it isn't really that bad the urinals are actually divided and separated from each other. Cool.. Cool.. I get up to my turn and approach feeling ok about the situation until the unthinkable happens.< Now like i have stated before I am a pretty big guy 6 foot 3 inches 211 pounds, so when someone is bigger than me then thay are Huuuuge> I feel this over powering presence to my left. I have to break the code and look and beside me stands a Black man approx 6 foot 10 inches tall and like 275 pounds all muscle. That wouldn't bother me in the least except for one thing. He is really black I mean so black that if it was dark outside you would not be able to see him coming at you. So like I said I look over at him and he is staring at me with his bright whites of his eyes and big bright teeth and he just keeps looking and says, "Hello".... Arrrrrrrgh! You got it I couldn't take the piss there either.


So with those few words... Please! Please! I implore of you all... follow the unwritten rules of the urinal so that others such as myself may pee in peace and not burn with the feeling of a full bladder!

The Headless Horseman

Yes I have seen the actual footage of Berg's decapitation and have reviewed a lot of the still images. Call it the Seeker Syndrome or what not. I have been damned with infernal curiosity it seems so I took a gander. It was gruesome to say the least, and it looks like it truly did happen to the fella, but I need to add to all of this that there are way too many inconsistencies with government statements. It is also very interesting that this beheading happened at the exact time the world was in outrage over the treatment of prisoners by US forces.

Go here to view a conspiracy theory that is roaming the net:

Conspiracy

Not that I condone any of that or say that it is true but there are always different sides to everything about us skewing truth from it original form.

Doing your Duty

Now before I begin I would like to state emphatically that this post is graphic in nature and is not for the weak of stomach =P


So you're sitting in your chair at work, and it hits you! Damn you got to go let the dogs out and double time. You get up and pray to the Gods of toilet heaven that no one is going ot stop and ask you some stupid ass question and want to try and be your friend. You are on a mission and it needs to be taken care of pronto.

Whew! You made it to the restroom and no one else is there so you are gonna be able to enjoy this immensely but for now you are doing the dance of the dung and you can feel those muscles contracting in your backside and you got to get to the throne so that your subjects will be able to worship you from down under.

Now for me I am tall and in our restroom at work there is one particular one I like to use. It is truly a throne to behold! When I sit upon it I don't have to sit down as if I am hunkered over and squatting against a tree. I can sit on it and feel all comfy like and truly get that relaxed feeling one needs to get the juices flowing. So I go and choose this one when I can (Hey so what if it is marked Handicapped!). This stool is the very last one in a line of like 7 stalls it is by itself and if someone else comes into to make their own business deal they can choose from plenty of others.

Now this is where the problem starts.....

So I go into the stall and have been all calm and straightforward almost a scowl on my face so that no one will talk to me I have made it to my destination and enter the mighty stall that I want to use. But I have to digress just for a moment and ask how the hell does your ass know that you are in the stall I mean hell yeah you got to go bad but you aint gonna shit your pants ya know? But for some reason when you get in there close the door its almost like the turds in yas are ready to come out to play! You can feel them trying to poke their heads out and your like Ahh hell! You cannot get your pants off fast enough and you start doing the little dance of the dung to try and hurry it up!

Booyah! We are on the pot and you are getting ready to rip one out to hell with the noise it makes no one is in here... And wouldn't you know it! Someone opens the door to the bathroom as you are gonna let fly. Damn! So much for enjoying this moment. So you sit there quietly trying not to make all kinds of noise and the party has moved back a block and decided that they wanna play indoors. "Well He will go away in a moment" I think to myself no biggy... But then the unthinkable happens! That bastard has all the choices in the world to pick from and he has to come and sit in the stall right next to yours. "Arrrrgh this is shite!" how can he do this not only is he next to me so that I may inhale his stench but he takes his pants to the floor and spreads his legs out so that part of his foot is in here with me as well.

At this point I would really like to extend my hand under the stall ask him to shake my hand and say "Welcome to port-o-pilot I am the Captain and you must be my new co-pilot because you are sitting so fucking close to me so lets get ready to board the flight." Now I am sure he will probably ignore my handshake and at this point I will be ready to go so I will announce in a loud voice " Gentlemen we will be taking off in the next few moments so please buckle yourselves in there is turbulence in this are and it may be a little rough", and at that point I let the loudest wettest thing I can rip out me back side and just keep it going for as long as I can and when done I can say " WooHoo that was a bumpy take off but from here on out it should be smooth flying thank you for flying to pot-o-shit airlines!


Ahhh the gratification that would give me but alas it will never happen instead I hunker down and try to be as silent with my droppage as I can just praying for the big ripper not to fly loose.


In closing I would just like to say to all you fat assed bastards out there....

"Use The empty stalls first keep some space 'tween yourself and the other guy you Bastards!"

Wanna be a Mafioso eh?

Here is a link to a game that is pretty cool. I have played it for like 10 months and done just about everything there is to do in it and so now I just pop in and out from time to time. If you want a game that is graphics intensive then it is not for you. This one is text based only but you can meeet alot of cool peeps from all over the world and just enjoy spending time with them.

WARNING!!!!

This game is free it costs you nothing. The creators spend alot of their life coding this thing! The thing it will cost you is all your free time as you become addicted learning the game and understanding all the nuances that make up the day to day operations of game play.


www.mafia.org

Pirate Quiz

located at: Pirate Quiz



This is pretty fun take it and see what you get =)





Your pirate name is:


Dread Pirate Read



Like the famous Dread Pirate Roberts, you have a keen head for how to make a profit. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!

My Weekend with the Morons

Yes this is not a new occurence it happens every single weekend that I work but I thought I would document it as a keepsake and share with anyone who wishes to read my meanderings.

My job is as a Technical Specialist and thats just a fancy ass-ed name for a guy that takes computer support calls over the phone and dispatches if I cannot fix it during the call. The main object of this story and what I am slowly getting into is the amount of stupidity and retardation that takes up my valuable oxygen! The main thrust here is why the hell are these inbred bass ackwards people allowed to live?

Let me detail this out for you a little further. You see the people I have call me on the phone requesting help are not your atypical folk.. "Ohhh No! I say to you," The men and women I suppoort are the very same ones that help you with your aviation needs. I deal with the maintainence men, the Agents at the ticket counters and the multitude of supervisors in between.

Ok now perhaps your thinking to yourself "Well Hell Seeker they are not computer techs like yourself they are just the average person trying to get by and do not know alot about the computer systems they just need them to work". My reply, " You have got to be Effin A Kidding Me!" The people who call me are the same ones who repair your aircraft but they do not know how to hit the left arrow key on a keyboard, they do not know that the big box that you look at to view the information is not a TV it is a monitor.

We have the weekend it is here. The majority of the world is off flying about taking trips or what not, and the Airlines decide that the people with the less experience need to be running the show. Why is that? Comon sense dictates that you put the best where they are needed! But nay.... we must go with the standard ideology of the weekend off is reserved for those long timers those people who have time in grade and get that perk.

This is just a little tip of the icerberg for you out there caught unawares. You have been warned. Do not follow the masses and think to yourself "everything will be ok", but instead be afraid be very afraid. The man who reassembled one of those engines just may be the guy that I talk to that doe not know how to power off a printer even when it is clearly marked "Power"!

Dining Experiences

So you want to go out and eat at a restaurant nothing to fancy but not too cheap just some good food and you do not feel like having to cook and clean yourself.

You make it to your destination and see the line of 200 people and shake your head and head to the next on your list you are not really craving it but, "Damn who wants to wait behind all those people?"

Ok so let us say you are at the next place; it still has a line waiting to be seated but this time it is only 50 deep. You get out lock up the car and go to door and have to wait as the family of 5 that together weigh at least 4000 pounds blocks the entrance. They smell food and look as if they are gonna attack the next waitress they see carrying a dish to the patrons that are already seated. We make our way past their sweaty ill fitting bodies barely able to contain the disgust as one of their jiggly arms tough me as I try to squeeze by to make it to the hostess station.

Finally I let out a breath finally able to breath and to my dismay I realize how crowded it actually is the smell of sweat is mingling with the aroma of food now and the heat of all these bodies packed in together starts my brow perspiring as well. But this is no matter I have made it I am looking at the young cute thing thats working as the hostess and inquire as to how long the wait is...

Waiting.... Waiting... Waiting...

You know she saw you she looked at us and smiled as we walked up but she lowered her head as soon as we asked the question and now shes not answering. What the hell is going on? Dunno but maybe she didnt hear me. "Ma'am Excuse me?" She totally ignores us and turns to her helper and starts chatting and having a conversation that probably has no bearing upon the time my wait will be.


Waiting....Waiting.... Waiting... Now I am growing impatient!


For those of you who do not know me I am 6'3" 211 pounds and look as Irish as a Leprechaun on St Paddy's. This I use to my advantage in times like these. I scowl so hard my forehead wrinkles up as if there is some extra skin that magically appears and says to you "Oh Shit! Help this guy out can't you see he is getting pissed?" This usually works I send my energy towards the person that she is talking to and they feel it burrowing into their cranium with such force and pressure that that just stop talking and tap the hostess and let her know she needs to help us.

Turning, the girl smiles innocently and asks "Can I help you?", like nothing happened! Well I forget it she is helping us now so "no matter".. I ask about the wait time again and she look at her paper and just makes up a number ~ I see it in her eyes ~ "It is only about 15 minutes we will call your name when the table is ready". I ponder "15 minutes? That really is not bad at all, cool. "


We make our way past the people back to the fresh air that inhabits the nether region past the fatties. Now all we can do is wait, wait ,and wait some more. The smell of food is intoxicating but our society has taught us in some Pavlovian way to act and do as we are told.


Ok enough of this story I am bored I'll maybe add to it another day......

1st Post Ever 05/14/2004

Yeah I am at work right now it is boring I would prefer to be living the care free life of a man with no ties and a total lacaidasical disregard for responsiblity....


One of my co-workers put up an interesting picture of a poisonous frog that someone had edited with a picture of a skull and crossbones on its back. While this is all sweet and cute it got me to thinking about how people figured out that they can lick a frog and get high off that! I mean I am sure some indian way back in the day figured it all out but what would make some fool want to eat a toad my God they are ugly little things how could one think to himself, "Ohhh Mmm tasty green slimy thing that sits in mud!"....