Old School Baller

I hate this new breed of rap with a passion. It used to have driving Bass and heart stopping BOOM....now all there that exists is commercialized shit. I never was much into rap anyways but there are still a few good songs and this is one ;)

sample from Full Metal Jacket
What'll we get for ten dollars?
Every 'ting you want
Everything?
Every'ting
Ooh! Don't do that, baby! Ahh!
Hold on this! Oh, sock it to me! Aaahh!
Ooohh!
sample from Full Metal Jacket

Chorus (repeated during breakdowns):

Ahh! Me so horny!
Me love you long time!
sample from Full Metal Jacket

Verse 1: [Brother Marquis]
Sittin' at home with my dick on hard
So I got the black book for a freak to call
Picked up the telephone, then dialed the 7 digits
Said, "Yo, this Marquis, baby! Are you down with it?"
I arrived at her house, knocked on the doo
rNot having no idea of what the night had in store
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny

Chorus

Verse 2: [Fresh Kid Ice]
Girls always ask me why I fuck so much
I say "What's wrong, baby doll, with a quick nut?"
'Cause you're the one, and you shouldn't be mad
I won't tell your mama if you don't tell your dad
I know he'll be disgusted when he sees your pussy busted
Won't your mama be so mad if she knew I got that ass?
I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, 'cause me so horny

Chorus

Verse 3: [Brother Marquis]
You can say I'm desperate, even call me perverted
But you say I'm a dog when I leave you fucked and deserted
I'll play with your heart just like it's a game
I'll be blowing your mind while you're blowing my brains
I'm just like that man they call Georgie Puddin' Pie
I fuck all the girls and I make 'em cry
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny.

Chorus
Breakdown(4x):
sample from Full Metal Jacket
Ahh! Hold on this! Oh, sock it to me!
sample from Full Metal Jacket

Chorus

Verse 4: [Fresh Kid Ice]
It's true, you were a virgin until you met me
I was the first to make you hot and wetty-wetty
You tell your parents that we're goin' out
Never to the movies, just straight to my house
You said it yourself, you like it like I do
Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too
I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, 'cause me so horny

Chorus
Breakdown (repeated till end of track):
sample from Full Metal Jacket
Fuckie suckie. Me fuckie suckie.
sample from Full Metal Jacket

Drunken Stupor

This is kinda cheesy but its correct so I will post it.


What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Megatron Rules!

Damn this hit me dead on! The exception here is that I would kick Optimus Prime's ass!



Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Sex_Boogers.com

Jay did this a while back and I found it quite amusing in that I had thought about doing the very thing a couple days before. I let it go for a bit now it is time for payback biaaaatch! The rest of you are just innocent bystanders, and if I left you out don't whinge on about it because I really just don't give a God Damn ;)

These should not be opened in front of children or at work!

Nord
Big Daddy James
Tsarina
Seeker
Jack Smynde
Jay
Inanna
The Dave
The Trashman
Tricia
Zelda
Reaz
Mike

Masturbational Grindings

I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how'd you like to waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind

She took me to her castle
And I just couldn't believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said sign your name on the dotted line
The lights went out
And Nikki started to grind

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! NIKKI!!!!!!! oh...

The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I can't tell you what she did to me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin' will kick your behind
Oh, she'll show you no mercy
But she'll sho'nuff sho'nuff show you how to grind

Woke up the next morning
Nikki wasn't there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone number on the stairs
It said thank you for a funky time
Call me up whenever you want to grind

The Color of Money

You are Spearmint.You are quick-witted and sharp. You pay close
attention to details and you can tell what your
friends are feeling. You are always the first
to understand a joke and you are valued for
your insight and advice. However, you
sometimes isolate yourself from other people,
afraid to share your own feelings.Most Compatible With: Cinnamon

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?

Roundabout

Every once in a great while just when you think things are a-clickin' life has this crazy way of going full throttle and hitting you hard core with a roundabout.

Diseased
I have been sick for the past few months fucking sinus bullshit. I had surgery on it over a year and a half ago but it never healed correctly and I have been going down hill pretty fast. So basically if I am not in excruciating pain then I can try to be happy nad just wait for the next painful day or two to come a knocking on my door. Seems to me that with my big Irish schnauze I wouldnt have to hard a time trying to breathe.. Ha!... Trying breaking that big bastard 3 times and see how it fucks up your oxygen intake. Went to the Doc today looks like surgery by the end of a month. Yay! off work no pay and terrible pain to boot who could ask for more?

She's a Loser
Had me kids, as usual, on my days off and for some unknown reason my Ex-wife shows up and starts cleaning my fucking house! I think to myself about how fucked up I am feeling so I ignore her and let her clean. Shit it is free and I don't really have to chat her up ya know? She actually did a good job and left me well enough alone. The problem lies with the fact that it got late into the night and she wouldn't leave. So being the type of person that could give a fuck less I went to bed. I figured she would leave and that would be that. Imagine my surprise when I find her in my bed with me the next morning! What the fuck!?! I get up wigging out to no end and get on the telly with my girl and for some crazy fucking reason I am feeling guilty and am telling her how fucked up this isall is and I am thinking Oh Damn I am gonna be in some deep shit! In all truth my girl knows how much I love her and she was pretty cool. She coulda really kicked my ass but she listened and asked What the Fuck? We kept talking and I made sure I was talking loud and clear so the evil demon woman that was fouling my bed with her demon posessed ways would hear what I was saying.

Abruptly my bedroom door swings open and my Ex cavorts on out (yes she was fully clothed during the time she was in my bed and the time she entered the living room) I take the opportunity to go back into my bedroom lay upon my bed and finish my convo. Heh! Bitch comes in my room and gives me the old evil eye and says, I guess I am gonna leave now... I so very badly wanted to ask her if she wanted a cookie but kept my mouth shut. Fuck man, she cleaned my hell hole ya know?

I am the Man! Not!
We had some really cool weather this summer and I am happy about it. A white bastard Irish doesnt do well in the Oklahoma sun ..well if he wants to turn a nice shade of pink and then undergo a metamorphisis and shed his dead, burnt skin for everyone then he can go out and play all fucking day long. I prefer the God Damn AC and the darkness of my abode.

I do not mow my lawn I never have and never will. Yes ... I know how to do it and yes I have mowed lawns as a kid. That all stopped when I moveed out of my parents place and did not have to do what they said anymore. I hire whoever wants to mow my lawn for 10 bucks. First come first serve motherfucker! I dont even care what it looks like as long as the shit is not too high and I have very few racing stripes. I dont have a green thumb and if I could my ground would be asphalt with a nice green tint. On this one particular day a couple weeks back thekid mows my lawn, he leaves, and my AC is blowing hot. OMG! where is that little bastard? I don't have the money to pay the exorbitant rape-assed charges that heat and air guys decide to call fair pricing! So what does ole' Seek do? He tries to live in the heat for 2 days and sweats his ass off.

Time to be a handyman Fuck it all to hell!

I shut off the power to the unit outside and start taking the thing apart. I realize I have never done this before and am having all kinds of problems. I take the top grate off and the fucking fan is attached to it and the fucker does not move but a couple inches upwards... Ah Ha! I see there is a little tube of metal protecting the wires. I move it over and slide it up some more almost to a 90 degree angle (this is where the fun begins). I stand there trying to figure out where the fuck the problem lies with my AC and why the hell it is not kicking in when I see so many sparks flying I think I am in the movie Flashdance! I am dancing around trying to let go of that metal son of a bitch and my hand is having a problem letting go as 220v start talking to me! Finally I let go arm numb pissed off and just turn every fucking breaker off! Now it is a power struggle man against machine and I come out triumphant with cold air once again circulating through my home.

The End of the Road
For about a year of my life I played an online game called 'mafia'. I played until I was a top dog always fucking up peoples plans raising armies of hitmen and taking out leaders. I trained new people how to be killers, or swindlers. It is considered an unbeatable game one that you just try to have fun with and see how far you can get.... I was too much of a threat and my students became the power houses I taugh them to be. So many of them got their own crews. I felt my job had been accomplished and my days were through. I quit playing and moved onto blogging.

Every now and then some buddies would pop in and say hello or bitch at me for leaving or begging me to come back so that I could cause the mayhem I was so fond of. I even did a couple of times, but really had no heart for it anymore. Well... last night I got word from a bro I haven't talked to in quite a long time... It seems that one of the guys I met when I first started playing died. He went by the name Wanderer and I knew he had some sort of sickness that afflicted him but he and I chose never to really talk about it. I could sense in him that the game was his escape from from the pain the real world gave him and so I did my best to put him to work where I could and let him have more fun playing and leading those he never would in the real world than he could have ever imagined. He took the game very seriously and we had our arguments, but it always ended well. Just yesterday I had thought about him after my couple months of being away and was thinking of looking his sorry ass up. I guess it doesnt really matter now though.

To Wanderer~ Where ever you may be now my lil bro.. I know you are away from the pain that bound you here in this life. Part of me wishes i had asked your real name and more about you, but then a part of me doesnt care to know. You were my compadre in our other world. Our world of crime. It was good to share Omerta with you and that your word was always strong. You are in a better place, and can no longer be named as you are. You have gone home, and I hope you have a warm seat by your fire waiting for me.... when it is my time as well.
Who ever says that online friendships/relationships are fake I'll tell them to Fuck off! You are always gonna be my little bro, just like you were in mafia. Fare the well until we meet again..

P.S. Dont drink all the wine you bogartin' bastard! ;)

Pink Ribbon.....

I got this from Tuna's site and think it is really groovy! If everyone that comes to my blog goes to this site and fills out their name and city/state information 3M will donate 1 dollar and put your name on the world's largest pink ribbon.




Thank you for "sticking up" for breast cancer research and participating in the World's Largest Pink Ribbon event. You will be represented on the giant ribbon that will be unveiled in New York's Time Square in October 2004.

Random Access

Here I will keep a running list of fucked up thoughts that run through Seeker's membrane.

1) Since Mcdonald's always fucks up my order I ponder what I would receive if I requested a Happy Meal without the Happy?

2) This is an oldie but a goodie..... Why is it that an 18 yer old can go to vote for our elected officials,go to war, die for our country, smoke cigarettes, but cannot have a god damn drink in a legal fashion?

3) I think that all welfare recipients should be mandatory drug tested before receiving any type of benefits. This would reduce taxpayer funding of illicit drug use.

4) All vagrants should be shipped to some third world country and be given food and bed, but for that they will have to help the poor needy folks of these countries. This type of thing will clean up our streets.

5) Anyone who seeks reparations for anything that happened to their ancestors can go get fucked. Everyone wants a free ticket now adays. Shit happens get over it! Next thing we are gonna see is ugly kids suing their parents because they got hit one to many times with the ugly tree.... Feck off!

6) There are uncountable women I have met in my days that claim to have been raped, date-raped, molested. While I realize this shit does happen. I think a little of it is over dramatized and is possibly fake memories. The wrold wants you to be a victim therefore you become one to gain some sort of fucking sympathy. Bugger off.

7) In most states "Right on Red" is legal, but you still seem dumbasses that sit there waiting for the light turn green.

8) Why do people hurry up so you cannot merge and have to slow down, and once you do this they slow down again so you have to go around them? Cod Nibblers!

9) Why can't we just televise executions? Part of what is wrong with the world today is that there are predators still out there even though the world governing bodies try to act humanitarian. If these executions were live then I personally think it would decrease alot of the murders that happen on a daily basis.

Knowledge Baby!

I got this from Jay and figured WTH... I'll take it.... and of course it proved what I always knew....




Athena


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

Important Survey.....

Ok guys n Gals The Seeker is having a very loud argument and needs other input besides his own (which is almost always right).

The simple questions is as follow:

In this day and age is long hair on a woman more attractive to a male or is shorter hair?

Now let me expound for a moment.... I am not talking about a butch dyke job. I am talking little longer than the shoulders (medium length or shorter). In mine eyes it can be style very differently based upon the mood and is less invasive on her partner i.e. When spooning laying on her hair and getting the "God damn I am stuck move your ass" treatment, there is no 4 foot long hairs floating about your body choosing to pop up unannounces and then you feel like a fucking snake charmer getting rid of it as your friends make the eeeeew face at yas.


I know theres alot more of you out there than what comment and I don't usually whore for 'em but I need to prove my point. You can say long or short that is fine, or you can give me the whole fucking enchilada of why you think you do. If you are woman thats gonna go all Libber on me save it for another day just simple input is all I am requesting.


My personal opinion is short to medium... anything else just reminds me of that little hairy fucking bastard Cousin It. Maybe even Captain Caveman if I am feeling froggy.

That is all... good day.

Right Side Left Side

I was so fucking close in my thought processes yet so far......

------------------


WHY IN BRITAIN DO WE DRIVE ON THE LEFT?
About a quarter of the world drives on the left, and the countries that do are mostly old British colonies.
Japan also drive on the leftclick here for this explanation.

This strange quirk perplexes the rest of the world; however, there is a perfectly good reason.

Up to the late 1700's, everybody travelled on the left side of the road because it's the sensible option for feudal, violent societies of mostly right-handed people.

What does this International sign mean?


Lorries keep left
Lorry lane
No overtaking lorries



Jousting knights with their lances under their right arm naturally passed on each other's right, and if you passed a stranger on the road you walked on the left to ensure that your protective sword arm was between yourself and him.

Revolutionary France, however, overturned this practice as part of its sweeping social rethink. A change was carried out all over continental Europe by Napoleon.The reason it changed under Napoleon was because he was left handed his armies had to march on the right so he could keep his sword arm between him and any opponent.

From then on, any part of the world which was at some time part of the British Empire was thus left hand and any part colonised by the French was right hand.

In America, the French colonised the southern states (Louisiana for instance) and the Canadian east coast (Quebec). The Dutch colonised New York (or New Amsterdam). The Spanish and Portugese colonised the southern Americas. So The British were a minority in shaping the 'traffic'.

The drive-on-the-right policy was adopted by the USA, which was anxious to cast off all remaining links with its British colonial past

Once America drove on the right, left-side driving was ultimately doomed. If you wanted a good reliable vehicle, you bought American, for a period they only manufactured right-hand-drive cars.

From then on many countries changed out of necessity.

Today, the EC would like Britain to fall into line with the rest of Europe, but this is no longer possible. It would cost billions of pounds to change everything round.
The last European country to convert to driving on the right was Sweden in 1967. While everyone was getting used to the new system, they paid more attention and took more care, resulting in a reduction of the number of road accident casualties.

Lost & Found

Alone in her box she cried silently wishing she had died.
Never realizing the truth of life itself,
She began to withdraw into herself.

Tears silently running down her face,
Washing her misery into time and space.
Little did she know what would unfold,
as she sat all alone.

After a time in stepped a man.
He was a gallant, dashing, new kind of brand.
Brushing aside the small tiny space
He delicately wiped the tears from her face.

Together they left out into the bright blue sun
Smiling and laughing, giving life a run
Best friends they became,
Sharing and Caring and forgetting their pain

In just a short while they realized it was meant to be
He was made just for her, as well as she for he
Truly symbolic the Yin and the Yang
You are my One! They cried out
Twirling and Dancing they were happy no doubt

Together at last it had been a long while
Eons, and stars born during their trial
True love it was definitely meant to be
Defiantly they cast off the darkness
so joyous, so verily joyous to be finally free.

Time Out!

Seeker! Seeker!

What? I ask in mild annoyance...

You have to see this go here quick!

Fuck...Oh alright....

So I make my way over there and am reading a pleasant little femalesque story. Full of goody goodies and pixie dust(don't forget the mindless nagging and bitching either).... I peruse down to the bottom of the page and see a link .. hmmm.. what could ruin her day? I ask myself. I click the link and up pops my blog.. WTF? I question why the hell my blog is coming up. so I close it out and click again..OMG No She Just Did Not do this!!!!!

~BLOG WARS~

Due to certain tactis produced against me and mine I am calling war upon Tsarina. Her impropriety against my Rulishness shall cause her to be in Time Out!Until I deem otherwise!


Yes Tsarina I laughed my fucking ass off.(I think mostly because I was perplexed as to why my fucking blog kept popping up!).. yes you do rule even though your title has been stripped. Now behave!

touche!

Pusssy Mobile in da' Hoooouse! 

ohhhh yeah! 

And again! 

Seeker's Pimpin' ride Yo! 

Man vs. Machine

I work in a secure technological environment on F.A.A. controlled land/airspace. To enter this place is like entering a fortress. The walls of my building are 2 foot thick and have been designed to withstand a direct hit from a 747. To actually enter the grounds you have to use an identification badge this badge is waved before a magnetic eye and you are then supposed to step into a chamber. In this chamber you will be weighed and if your weight is over/under 20 pounds +/- you will be denied access.

I have noticed that changed happen when you hit 30. I no longer carry around at 180 pounds or so. Slowly The weight inched up and I filled out taking on what I shall be as a man. No biggy, it isn't too bad yet. I put off exercise and eat as much as I want enjoying life as it comes.

Today I go on into work liek nothing in the world is wrong. Do my job and when my time is up I leave telling god a brief thank you as I head out the door. As per normal I walk clear across the complex and swipe my badge and enter the chamber. BUZZ BUZZ ,I hear..WTF? I look at the LCD display that usually has a sign. Holy Shit No way!!! Mother fucker!!! I exit back the way I came, and try the other chamber. BUZZ BUZZ... Arrrrrrrrgh! With great trepidation I glance at the little green screen one last time....

OVERWEIGHT!
OVERWEIGHT!
SEE SECURITY NOW!

Almost in tears I make my way across the complex get to the security department and tell them that it is giving me a weight error. I get a few smiles from the ladies. The guy starts asking all kinds of lame ass questions... Do you take your laptop or luggage through the door?...

Ok Smartass...I reply impatiently....Look I gained weight just reset the sum bitch!... Now I am the chuckle of the day and have to test the front weight lock to make sure it resets properly.

As I walk back by security one of the ladies shouts out....You didn't gain anymore on your way out of the Lock did you hun?

Yeah BitchFuck you too....

What a bitch it is to be getting old... Mother Fucker!

Needless to say I passed this next go around not happily mind you, not happily.

The Time of the Dinosaurs

Intro - BAD1 saw that I was posting to my blog yesterday and I explained ot him what it was that I was doing. He wanted a look see but that was forbidden. He then comes to me an hour later and hands me this little story and asked me if I would post it to be read. Do not try to criticize it or say anything unbecoming. This is something I am doing for him as he thought he would do for me.

10,000 years ago there were dinosaurs. It was a new creature. It was cold. The Dragon, it was the first of it's kind. The first day it was born it was married. It had 1,000,000 babies and killed everything on the world. It killed humans, and the humans killed all of them. The humans lived happily ever after.

The End

I love you big guy

Dad

Questions I need answered....

1. Why does it always rain on the day after I wash my car?

2. What causes women to be more attracted to you when you are with someone or married than when you are single?

3. How does a person who has no arms wipe their ass after a shit?

4. What make a child run at you full steam to give you a hug always making sure their head is tilted forward at crotch level?

5. When a dog farts rather noisily why is that they always look towards their ass if surprised?

6. If every religion in the world believes that their way is the only way to heaven.. and all other shall die... then we would all die if God really is religious?

7. What causes me to smile every time I utter the word monkey?

8. If we went back to to bible days and stoned/killed adulterers. Don't you think that people would not be as apt to do it?

9. When I was but a spirit and about to enter the world as we know it... why wasn't I allowed to have super powers?

10. What the fuck is up with the hat Tsarina makes her poor dog where?

Sexual Sundries

This Post May Have Content UnSuitable for Young Viewers ... Ah, who the fuck am I kidding most of my posts are like that..... Listen and learn my young friends.

Below I am going to go through some of the oddities a male of the genus homosapien may go through during, and after an act of intercourse with a female.

1) So you had a hell of a time last night and this morning. Kickin' punanny and woke up to a BJ! What a way to start the day. You had already taken a shower the night before the festivities began and so this particular morning you just get up and throw on your clothes and out the door you go. Later in the day the inevitable happens... You have got to take a piss.... So you make it to the restroom undo the fly and WTF! you say to yourself as you realize that the little guy wont slip on out so you can take your piss. Hmmm..... This is not normal... Felling around some more.... Well Fucking Hell! You think to yourself as he finally comes forth. He feels odd... What the hell is this? Sliding your fingers around..... This is not normal! You get a mental image of dental floss wrapped around your cock and you cannot understand why it is there. You pull....
and pull some more..... Holy Shit, it wont stop coming out of your pants. After what seems eternity you pull your hand up and My God, there is the longest God Damn hair you have ever seen! How the fuck.... Oh yeah, my lady was suck the big guy last night and left me a little present did she...

Now where was I... Oh yeah let's get back to work little fella I need to piss....

2) After another night of rowdy awesome sex you awake to the normal need to take a piss feeling in your bladder. You stumble across the bedroom to toilet area and go in thinking nothing except getting some relief. Since you are still stark ass naked you just stand over the pot and let loose the flood gates. The unthinkable happens... You cock has become like a wet willy that you used to attach to the garden hose and have so much fun with as a child! Your dick is spraying piss in all directions except the pot. WTF! Red Alert, Red Alert! Shut off the flood gates abort mission, abort mission! Too late they are wide open and there aint no closing her down. Thinking fast you grab the little dude and try to twist him a bit to get him angled down so the crazy spray is hitting the water in the bowl and not going everywhere else. Ha ha ha ha! Fuck you he yells back up at you and does the impossible... Shoots a 90 degree piss shot right at the wall.

Mental Notations
When the fiasco is over always make sure you clean that piss up. Your lady goes in there and you haven't done it you are gonna be truly fuxored.

Remember to get up and clean your dick off after sex dumbass.

3) You're in the middle of some Bow Wow Wow, and doing it doggy style. You have been all over the bed and now you rapping dat ass. You have been going close to an hour and everything is groovy.. all that's missing is the porno music playing in the background. To hell with that..you'll just imagine it yourself. Yeah baby that's right... You have John Fucking Holmes doing you.

The mood is good , the sex is awesome and your pumping her up like an air mattress. Then out of the blue... the unthinkable happens... What the fuck was that noise? You think to yourself as the music in your head comes to an abrupt halt... total silence....Ok get back into rhythm man ...
In-Out, In-Out.. Hell Yeah the groove is back. Then you hear it again... Squish...Pfffft....blubba....blubba.....blat.....blat! Oh no she didn't! Hell naw man! She just Queefed a big ole pussy fart all over my cock!

The mood is ruined and the porn has ended, your just too fucked up and traumatized to continue on.

4) Yeee-Haw! Gonna get laid to night my good man, and it is gonna be a good one. The mac has been laid. You're on top half ass naked, and you ready to feel the good lovin' for the first time. Anticipation builds and you go to slide it in. Shizznit! Am I in? Ok little dude dont panic, we are gonna hook you up. You slide your hand down to make sure you getting the right hole and not just an air-ball. Yep, there be the wetness, and theres my dick..you wrap your index finger around him at the base making sure he is going in like a fucking nuclear missile in WWIII. You push on in Wham! You hit home. AAAaaaaaaa! You want to scream as your dick has entered a vagina as big as the Grand mother fucking Canyon! Well.. Ok let's move a bit and see if we can do what we need to do. She then spreads her legs out to take in some more... Oh man... this is not good you feel yourself being sucked into her... scared you pull back... she grans your ass you aint going anywhere she wants you. You have to grab on to the furniture now. She thinks you're going for the hard core chitty chitty bang bang..Yeah man give it to me. Duuuuuude! she thinks I am having a good time. Does this bitch not realize if I do not do this my entire body is gonna be sucked into that black hole of a crotch? Jesus Christ, Lord God.. you start to pray... please don't let me fall in, I am to young to die!

She gets off... you feel the gravitational forces lessen ...lessen...gone. You pull off and roll over... Yeah man that was some good stuff... You lie. You're ready to get the hell out of there, but don't want to hurt any feelings. God answered your prayer so you just got to give it some time and make your exit. Maybe if your ever desperate you'll come back but you're not going to forget the rapelling gear.

5) You just walked out of the office... It's her she is giving you a ring letting you know that she wants to come over. This kinda sucks because you're normal arrival action to the homestead is to check the answering machine then off for a pleasant little dump that has been building back pressure all day long. you have a ritual and by God she is going ot be really fucking it up. Damn... you still have to say yes or it might fuck up the pussy action. You enter the house, and shes already there waiting. Why the hell did I giver her a key? Oh yes.. the word pussy comes to mind. She is totally void of any clothes and she has that I am gonna fuck and suck you all night long look in her eyes. Smiling you quietly estimate how much longer you can let the Turd reside in your ass. Yes, you have a bit of time. She begins kissing you, and you're not moving around a whole lot because you know that you don't want someone poking his head out that isn't supposed to. You go to the couch and let her undress you, and pull off your pants. She gets tween your legs and starts giving you a killer head job.. You lean back and think to yourself about how good the shine is gonna be on the little feller once she is done... Relaxed... what a way to come home.. Yeah keep it up hun you're doing a great job Mmmmm ......... Wooooooosh! Oh No! You just ripped a silent but deadly right in her face!.. There is nothing you can do.. You try to ignore it.... The sucking stops... You are going to die..... she is looking up at you and gives you a go to hell look and tells you that she is no longer in the mood as you realize it is going to be a real son of a bitch to go take a dookie with a hard on....



The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Please refer all questions to God himself.

Thank You.

The Garden's That We Build

I am dressed in my black leather trench coat, sunglasses revealing nothing under darkened sky. The winds of change are blowing and whip the tails of my coat around as I relax against the stone wall. I light my cigarette in one fast swoop; inhaling deeply as I allow the nicotene to enter my body. As I shake my head at what I am about to do the smoke leaves my body as if it is a spirit seeking its own life after entering mine. I look towards my right to where the The Gate is. She has been locked for way to long and rust has settled into her so that she is definitely going to be a bitch to open. The padlock keeping the thing in place is in even worse condition.. Fuck, I have been away far to long and have let things go to hell.




Pushing myself away from the wall I take a deep breath and walk up the steps to the gate. With lightening fast fury I kick the gate breaking the rusted iron off, watching as it falls to the ground.
Determined and my face set in stone I walk through the entry into what was given to me on the day of my birth. It has come such a long way since then. It has been with me every day of my life just waiting patiently for me to come back to her. She has been a good woman to me and I have neglected her so many times.

As I gaze across her expanse tears start to fall freely from my eyes. Weeds have over grown everything. The tall grass laying claim to the rest. The cobble stone path I had so meticulously laid out was now in shambles. The bench where i had professed my love so many times in the past was over turned. A fitting place for it after all I have seen and been through in this life.



Time to get to work I say as the depth of my neglect truly sets in......

Time Passes

You are walking down a fairly busy sidewalk and you notice a gated and walled structure that has never been there before. It is truly beautiful upon first glance and the overwhelming feeling of love and peace hit you like a ton of brick straight through the core as you walk towards the entrance hoping to get a glance at what lays beyond. Walking faster you notice that each stone is laid so perfectly against the next there is not a single trace of mortar holding the impressive structure together. All along the infinite wall there are stone benches carved so that each one is totally unique next to the other. Some of them have scenes that depict love, others war, some gargoyles. It is as if there is a story of life all about them but there isjust so much it over whelms you into carrying forward towards your goal of seeing what lies behind the gate.

You make it to your destination finally and realize that what you thought at first was the entrance is actually a recess with the gate another 30 feet down a corridor but you cannot see it except for the glint of a burning cigarette in the dark. Mesmorized by what is going on and by the need ot know what lies upon the other side of that blocked portal you jump as the man with the lit cigarette comes towards you out of the darkness. There is a power about him that you can feel, but you cannot place it.

A voice so deep it reminds you of gravel being crushed asks you a simple question Can I help you? Suddenly you feel the need to flee but you cannot. You are fixed to the spot with a thousand thoughts racing about your mind. Suddenly he grins a cocky half-smirk So you are here to see what is beyond the gate are you? The need to see suddenly is more than you can bare and just above a whisper you respond with a Yes.

We can do that, but first I must tell you what this structure is and who I am. Until we do that you will not be allowed under any circumstances to enter. Can you accept that?
He waits with a knowing smile upon his lips as you nod your head vigorously. Slowly he takes you to one of the stone benches and sits you down so that you are comfortable and begins the story.


This place that you have come to is a very, very special one. It shall always be a work in progress. Completion is not what this is about. You see, each and every one of us is a given a very very special place when we are created. This place is a garden one that no one else can ever take from you unless you let them, but even in that you still have ownership and it's care rests in your hands alone. At first it is always just a piece of earth. There are no trees, no grass, no weeds, in all truth it is just a place of rich soil waiting for its master to bend it to their will. Over time as our life goes on we begin to plant certain things, and watch those seeds grow. Sometimes they are extremely beautiful and the world takes notice and they want to share in the beauty or perhaps try to steal into your Garden one night and take them from you because jealousy is all that they know.

If you are an adept student of life you will begin to see the things I am talking about and will make sure that your Garden is protected so that you may tend it as needed but for the most part let it grow with the occassionally trimming and hedging here and there. At times you may have freinds come to vist and take tea with them in your courtyard under the branches of an oak or perhaps there is no oak but a splendid canopy of grape vines allowing you shade as you marvel at your life's work. This place is whatever you wish it to be. It can be everything or it can be nothing. During your life there will be many times where those around you who have failed in their task of maintaining and making their garden what it should be. You will then take time from your own work and help them get it reorganized , weeded, seeded, and possibly teach them how to lay coblestone paths or the myriad of other endless possiblities one could use to make their Special Place one that others will want to enjoy.

The danger in this is that the longer you spend in another's Garden the more chance you have at losing control of your own. This can be very detrimental to you as a Spirit, for you see that you have placed so much of yourself into this work if you begin to deny it the love and streangth and support it needs to thrive it will begin to deteriorate and die. With it's passing you too will begin to suffer as it did. You will no longer be fulfilled and all you shall feel is the hurt and lonliness of the loss. You will find many times that those you hadspent time helping have gone back to their old ways. The Gardens you taught them build, and helped to repair will be gone and in their place the same mess that was there when you began. They will be so self absorbed they will have no time to spare to help you with your Place, and in this you will begin to become bitter. Even possibly ending up as bad, or worse then they who have cast you aside and ignored your help.


Absorbing all that he has said you pause momentarily as you realize that the structure before you still has not been explained, and you bluntly tell him so.

Patience my friend we are getting to that. It was important for you to understand what has gone before so that you may now see that what I am about to show you is the most wonderous thing in this life. There will be no other object, thought, desire, want, need, or lust that can come close.


Beyond the gates set before us is a place that He created. You interrupt the speaker with a question, Who is He? If you do not mind me asking...

No I don't mind at all in fact I have been hoping you would ask me so that I may now give you the details that will give you the truest understanding of what and who I am. My name is Seeker and I was created to be the guardian of this place. He let me live so that he could always make sure his Garden was kept up as he was helping others with theirs. This place can lay dormant and will not need any tending until the time is right and Fate brings them together.

But who is He? They...? Now there is another person involved you are totally confusing me! Spit it out man and quit doing the mystical voodoo hoodoo to me and give me the shit straight and to the fucking point! You almost yell feeling the furious that it is taking so very long to get the answers you seek so that you may gain entrance.

Waiting for your outburst to settle down he continues, This place has no They as of yet. In time she will come and visit it with Him and together they will create something that no other creature can truly experience in this world. My place in all this? Like I said I am just the guardian making sure that it is ready for when the time comes. I will be here to open the gates and let them pass and as they enter I will give them their time alone as I shut the gates behind them so that no one may enter and tresspass upon that sacred ground. For now though He has seen to many men and women forget that they too need to create their own place such as this and that is why you have been called here so that I may teach and show you the way Love should be handled and how it can come together at any point in time.

He smoothly stands from his seated position and takes your hand helping you to your feet. Walking silently towards the darkened entrance Seeker stops just before the iron gate and you hear a click as the padlock keeping this doorway sealed opens slowly.

Before we enter I want you to understand that nothing must be disturbed do you understand? He says his voice cold as stone and the friendliness all but gone now. The look he gives you in the dim light is so strong you can feel his gaze touching your very Spirit and you know he means business. You give the affirmative and wait as he opens the gate.

Nothing... You see Absoluting nothing but a gray mist thought the open door. He had me sit through all that shit just for this? You think to yourself as you begin to frown at the wasited time and effort. To Hell with it all you walk through and into fresh spring air and a sunlight so beautiful that you feel as if God's Angels themselves must be providing the lighting for this remarkable world. Taking in everything at once you realize that before you is a simple cobblestone pathway, one that you would most likely find in any garden in the world, and that there is nothing else but a stone bench a few hundred paces down the way. The remaining space is dirt, as far as the eye can see in both directions there is nothing but dirt. How can this be? You want to scream, but somewhere deep down inside you do not really say anything. You look over to your companion and he is intently focused upon the only thing of ornamental value in this supposedly special place where HE and She and They will be coming at whatever time and place Fate decides.

Looking over towards my guest I realize that perhaps they were not the one intended for this pleasure and experience, but the Master gave explicit orders and carried out they shall. Tired of the preamble I make my way to the Bench and sit down heavily as I awaut the visitor. Moments later I hear footsteps amid the silence as they come behind me and slowly seat themselves as well. Let's get this over with so I can get back to my smoke, I think to myself as I look down towards a spot that is 7 feet in front of me.

So you are here finally and this is what the place is all about friend. Do you see that circle of stone before you with the hollow center? We will not be going any closer to that space than we are now but I am going to explain what it is to you so that you may truly understand. The circle of stone itself is divided into two seperate pieces. If you follow the outline down the center you will see that they make the Yin and Yang. Two halves of a whole joined here in the center of His universe. On the day that they are ready He will bring the Woman of his dreams. His "ONE" and together in silence they will walk hand in hand to that very spot and will bend down and place the seed for their Rose. This single rose will begin to grow and be nourished by their love and guidance. If they fail to work together in keeping it alive so to shall their relationship falter. Together they will come here and look after the beauty that they have created and will feed it ,water it, and work it together. Here there will be no weeds, only beauty. At times one of them may leave so that they can tend their own personal garden but at no time should either of them ever leave their rose untended. As time goes on and their love grows deeper this whole world of His and Hers will be expanded upon. Just as with your own Garden this too shall become whatever they make it. Their can be statues, waterfalls, mazes to play hide and seek inside of. It can be anything they want. The thing that is of most interest to Him is that once They have gotten a good foothold on the designs and plans of their special place, it will become an open event for everyone to attend. They will want this place to be visited and perhaps some of their flowers clipped and taken and planted in another Garden. They wil want others to learn and see the beauty of their union and be enlightend and so happy to be allowed to share in it that they too will go forth and find their One so that they may have the happiness He shares with the love of his life. The One for whom he has waited an eternity on finding.



Looking over I see tears of joy slipping down the face of the person I was supposed to teach this to. Are they sad? Are they happy? Who knows...... It is time to leave and with that I walk with my new friend in tow realizing that Yes she sees the beauty and remarkable Love that is carried in this place and that she will spread the message she has been taught.

As she walks out into the light of the Real World I lean back into the darkness I inhale on my cigarette letting the world go by as I wait and guard His most miraculous of places.....

Regrettable Reference Points

I was 15 years old and she was in my world history class. Her name was Amy, and she was one of the cutest, most beautiful girls I had seen. She was quiet but had a laugh that would make you smile if you heard it echoing across the room. I never really took the time to speak to her, or became friends with her, but I could see her every now and then looking towards me and smiling that beautiful smile she had and it would always make me blush. I would turn away and act like I was interested in what was going on in the classroom but when I thought she wasn't looking I would steal peeks at her myself.

About three-quarters of the way through the year she was gone; vanished into thin air. The teach announced to us that she had moved away with her parents due to a divorce situation and would no longer be attending our school. I couldn't believe it! I had truly fucked up and missed my chance to get to know her and what she was all about. I was never with the "In-Crowd", I knew everyone and they knew me as well but I never got involved with thier little social cliques. I was more like the guy that shaved his head and wore military fatigues one day and maybe a suit the next. This beautiful creature that had blonde hair, an athletic body, and a contagious smile was gone from my life and I had never let her in. I think back and realize I was a fool for not realizing that I definitely had a chance to know her or perhaps even date her, but my self imposed shyness with the opposite sex left me alone without a chance.

Flash Foward to the Following Summer

I was at a convention for guys/gals who played RPG's. Yes I was a fucking nerd and played Dungeons & Dragons. I will admit to it and I am not ashamed; Some of the best times of my life were gathered around around a table with all of our books layed strewn about haphazardly as we tried to defeat the evil menaces that plagued out make-believe world. We would play all night with not a care about the real world at all, snacks and sodas ran the gamut and we laughed, ate, and drank to our merry hearts content. Yes, I am side tracking here so back to the story. So anyways in the summer following her absense I was at this convention in a huge hotel that is made too look like a castle, it's called Camelot and in the years following it has fallen into a sickening state of disrepair and neglect. Some fucking Hare Krishna organization bought it and then started to remodel it but after all the asbestos that was found inside it's walls they ran out of money and now this thing of that was once considered grand is more like a skull with empty sockets glaring at you when the night comes on and the light is leaving the land.

During this convention me and my boy decided we were hunger and decided to go to burger king for a hamburger during one of the breaks (Actually I had gotten my ass killed moments into the game! I was pissed and needed some fresh air.) Well we walk into the BK and are ordering up when I hear Seeker is that you? I look down and say Oh My God! Amy, how are you doing? She smiles and tells me about the divorce and that she moved to a town about 10 minutes away from where I live. I acted the fool and was going ga-ga, trying not to stutter through my small talk. I told her it was great to see her again and left without her phone number and with a bigsmile on my face for having seen her. Hours later I was sitting in the middle of another game and realize to my dismay what I had done, Fuck! I didn't get her number! My friend that was with me laughed and told me to quit dreaming she was a hotty and I'd never be going out with the likes of her. Being the stubborn ass that I am I made him drive me back over there and she was already gone for the day. This bothered me but I figured that shit happens and I was too much of a puss to realize I shoulda asked for her number, and if I had well... Shit I probably woulda been to scared anyways.

Fast Forward 6 months Later

I am 16 and a junior in Highschool. I am definitaly in my rebel phase and have a shaven head (this was before it was cool and most everyone thought of me as a skin head) I wear combat boots every day and an army jacket with a white T-shirt and camo's. I had stopped at a local convenience store that you could buy a soda for 29 cents for a 32 ounce drink. Hell of a deal for a High school kid that likes saving his cash. I am in there doing my normal thing , filling my cup and waiting for the exruciatingly slow amount of time it takes for the fizz to dissappear so that I can fill it to the top. I hear a voice, and it;s once that I recognize... Naw It cannot be her She lives elsewhere WTF she doing here. Continuing to fill my drink I get a tug on my jacket, and a voice says You better not be ignoring me Seeker! I turn around and see her and she had changed into a little punker, and I'll be fucked if she isn't hotter than ever... I don't know what got into me but I picked her up in a big hug and she laughs as I pick her up and before i know she is planting a huge kiss on me...Holy Shit she is kissing me! What do I do now? Kiss her back ok, ok I can do that, I am frantically running this over in my mind and somehow everything stops. Time is gone and it is just me and her kissing and in an embrace. A girl that I had a crush on, but never really understood it until she was gone was actualy kissing me! Wow!

After a moment we pull apart( Actually her little punker freind was apparantly taken aback by this little PDA and started the Ummm guys, guys lets go now bit. She grabbed Amy's hand and pulled her away. They sat in their car for a while and I payed for my drink and gave them both a wave as I got into my truck and have to go through the whole what the fuck are you doing in there from my friend that was waiting in the truck. My reply Dude she kissed me! She actually fucking kissed me! He started laughing and told me we needed to go because he had toget home so we drove off down the road and here comes Amy and her friend. They pull up beside us and Amy waves at me. She looked so happy and had a huge smile upon her lips, but in her eyes there was also a sadness. They kept going and we had to make a turn.... That last thought in my mind is that I, yet again, did not get her number. As if by ESP my boy has to shout out Seeker, you better have gotten her number! Fuck, god Damn and Shit I didn't man Ok! I yell at him as we drive to his house and with him laughing the whole time at me telling me I am such a dumbass.

I learned alot from all of this, and have come to realize many things. For alot of years I had always thought that she could have been my "One" and I truly fucked it up. I never tried to get closer to her, I let opportunity slip through my fingers. I have sworn that for the rest of my life I will never have another regret. If I see something I like and want I will go for it. I will do my damndest, and if it does not succeed it will never be for a lack of trying. If it doesn't work out... Well then at least I gave it all I had to give. She was a lesson for me. One I will never forget.

Amy if you're still out there hun, I just want to let you know that you touched my life in a way I will never forget. You have taught me something that few ever learn.

Thank You, and I hope that your life has turned out to be all you had hoped for.